Out of the Blue
by tilante
Summary: a fanfic of a fanfic - my continuation of omens' wonderful  but sadly unfinished  "Out of the Blue".
1. Chapter 3

Author's Note: This is a fanfic of a fanfic, if you will - my attempt at continuing Omens' wonderfully begun, but unfinished, story "Out of the Blue". If you haven't read "Out of the Blue", I strongly suggest doing so before starting this. It won't make much sense otherwise.

...

_it's a long, long road_

_from which there is no return_

_while we're on the way to there_

_why not share_

_and the load_

_doesn't weigh me down at all_

_he ain't heavy, he's my brother_

- He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother, by B. Scott and B. Russell

...

They tried to argue it, of course. She couldn't throw her life away on a whim, a week from now she'd be regretting this, how were the two of them going to raise a child together when half the time they couldn't spend an hour in the same room together, and on and on.

If there was one thing that Alex had learned in years of arguing with Justin, though, it was that you couldn't argue with someone unless they argued back. And so she simply let their parents' protests and pleas wash over her, ignoring them as if she simply didn't hear them.

Ever-logical Justin tried to meet their arguments, of course, but between the emotions of the day and having just come off an hours-long drive, Jerry and Theresa weren't in a logical mood. The three of them argued quietly, faces rather than voices carrying the intensity of their emotions... until the nurse came by to see if Justin had any questions about the paperwork and to take Ricky back for the pediatrician's routine check.

That interrupted the argument, but once the nurse was gone, it resumed, louder now that there wasn't a baby there to possibly be disturbed by it. It was then that Alex finally broke, after a long, sleepless night of worrying about her brother, about the baby, about _everything_.

It was a quiet break, though, and surprisingly, Max was the first one to notice it. As tears ran down Alex's face, he looked up from the game he was playing on his cell phone and blinked at her. "Alex? Are you okay?"

Everyone stopped at that. Justin was closest to her, and he moved to her, trying to take her in his arms. She pulled away, feeling suddenly ashamed and embarrassed that he should be supporting her right now, when she was supposed to be here for him, but Justin caught her, wrapped her up in his strong arms and squeezed, placing himself between her and their parents as he did.

Turning his head to face back at them over his shoulder, Justin said, "Look. I'm keeping my son. That's final. I didn't ask Alex to help - I tried to argue her out of it - but if she's going to school here, she'll be around here anyway. So I'll let her help, but if she changes her mind, I'm not going to try to make her stay."

"I'm not changing my mind," Alex got out somehow, but Justin kept talking.

"Mom, Dad... if you want to help, I'd be glad to have the help." He swallowed then, and Alex felt tears drip onto her shoulder, hugged her brother harder. "But if you're not here to help," he went on, his voice cracking, "then please... just leave. This is hard enough already."

A moment passed, then another, and then another set of arms was enfolding them, then another as Jerry joined Theresa. "I'm sorry," Theresa said. "You're right. We shouldn't be yelling at you right now. If this is what you really want…."

"It is," Alex and Justin said together, Alex lifting her head from Justin's shoulder.

Theresa nodded and smiled, her eyes welling up with tears. "Then that's what you'll do."

…

As much as they might have liked to, Justin and Alex couldn't simply leave with Ricky as soon as Justin finished the paperwork. The hospital was insistent that procedure be followed… and besides, while Justin was willing to bring his son back to his dorm room if needed, the less time the baby had to spend there, the better.

Thus, Jerry and Max were dispatched to begin looking for an apartment, while Theresa took on the job of getting food, a change of clothes, and other necessities for Justin and Alex, since it didn't appear that Ricky would be released until at least 24 hours after the birth, and neither Justin nor Alex was willing to leave before then.

They did, however, bow to necessity enough to take bathroom breaks, and thus it was that around eleven in the morning, Alex was alone when one of the nurses brought out little Ricky. "It's feeding time again," the short, somewhat pudgy blonde woman said, smiling at Alex, who stood up to meet her and take Ricky. Looking down at her nephew's round little face, she smiled automatically when his bright blue eyes (Theresa told them their eyes had been blue when they were born too - most babies' were) met hers, taking him into her left arm, holding his head with her right hand for a moment as she got him situated, then gave him the bottle.

"Very good," the nurse said approvingly. "You're doing very well for a first-time mother."

"Thanks," Alex said, still smiling down at Ricky - and then what the nurse had said sunk in, and she shook her head quickly, looking up from him to the nurse. "Oh, no - I'm not his mother. I'm his aunt, and -"

She cut off as the nurse smiled gently and touched her on the arm. "I know who you are. The staff talk, even if we don't do it in front of patients. If you're the woman who's going to be helping raise him, then you're his mother, no matter who gave birth to him, or what the paperwork says."

Alex stared at the little nurse for a moment, mouth open and suddenly feeling dry, then swallowed. _I… oh my God. I'm going to be his mom. _She looked down again, at the little blue eyes that were looking up at her as Ricky greedily gulped down his formula. _Can I do this? Really? Can I even back out now? I can't stick Justin doing this alone, not after what I said…._

"Hey… don't let it get to you," the nurse said then, and Alex looked at her again.

"Don't let what get to me?"

"That sudden panicked feeling you're getting. It happens to all new parents."

"When does it stop?"

The nurse smiled, then shook her head. "It goes away for a while sometimes, but if you're a _good_ parent, it never really ends."

…

A few hours later, the four of them - Justin, Alex, Theresa, and little Ricky - were sitting peacefully, Ricky asleep in his father's arms. They were ensconced in one of the waiting rooms in the maternity area, since the postpartum room the new parents would normally be using was Marjorie's room, and since Marjorie's insurance was the one paying for that - and indeed, for all of this - Justin wasn't going to push for another.

"Justin." The voice was quiet and unfamiliar, and when Alex looked up, the face was as well - but although she'd never seen the pretty, tired-looking brunette, Alex knew instantly who she had to be. Marjorie.

Alex shifted uncomfortably as Justin got to his feet, still holding Ricky. "Yes?" he asked, his voice a little wary.

"Can I… can I hold him for a minute?" she asked, and Justin looked at her for a moment, then nodded. Carefully, he handed Ricky over to Marjorie, saying as he did, "Use a hand to support his head. A newborn's neck isn't strong -"

"I know," Marjorie said quietly. "They made me take the child care classes, in case I changed my mind about giving him up." She cradled him carefully in her arms, swayed a little side-to-side, rocking him gently, then smiled down at him. "He's beautiful," she said then. "He has your hair."

Justin swallowed, looking uncomfortable, and Alex stood up, moved over to his side, linking arms with him. Behind her, Theresa stood as well, and the three of them watched Marjorie.

After a few moments, the brown-haired girl looked away from the baby and up at Justin. "I… I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier."

"Yeah, well…." Justin looked away, stared at a spot on wall, then shrugged. "You told me. That's the important thing."

She kept looking at Justin, the look turning into a stare, a blush growing on her face as he continued to not look at her. "I… you're braver than I am." She stopped, swallowed. "I didn't get a good impression of you… that night. I didn't think you'd…."

Marjorie's voice trailed off, and Alex narrowed her eyes. "You didn't think what? You didn't think my brother would want his baby? You didn't think he'd care about it?" Alex was snapping at the girl, and she realized it on some level, but right at the moment, she didn't care. Justin didn't deserve to have some kind of guilt trip or whatever laid on him, and if Marjorie was looking for forgiveness for laying all this on Justin, she was looking in the wrong place.

The other girl blinked fast and licked her lips at Alex's words, then shook her head quickly. "That's not how I mean it," she said quickly, and then she looked back at Justin. "I… Justin -" Her voice became just a little more than a squeak as she said, "If you think you could forgive me… I'd like to keep our baby."

"No!" Alex called out - and then she was looking up into Justin's eyes, as he leaned over her where she was sitting on the slick pale-green vinyl of the waiting room chair.

"Alex… wake up. It's just a nightmare," he said, one hand on her shoulder, the other stroking her hair. "I'm right here. You're okay."

Quickly, Alex looked around, then looked back to Justin. "Where's Ricky?"

"Back with the nurses. Another test. Mom's with him - I went down to get you this." He gestured toward the end table by where Alex was sitting, and she looked down to see a cherry Coke and a Snickers. "When I came in, you were making noise and kicking. Are you okay?" He stroked her hair again, and Alex felt a momentary urge to throw herself against her brother's chest and cling to him. Instead, she swallowed, then nodded.

"Yeah… I was just having a bad dream. About Ricky." _Yeah,_ she thought. _That _was _bad._ Marjorie actually had come to see him, earlier, asked to hold him for a moment… but then she'd left, not made any attempt to try to keep him, nor any indication that she'd wanted to.

Still, the whole time she'd been there, Alex had found herself terrified that the girl had had a change of heart, that she'd want to raise Ricky with Justin now, and… _And he'd be taken away from me_, Alex thought. _But that didn't happen. Everything's okay._ She realized then that Justin was saying something, had been saying something. "Sorry… what?"

"Alex…." Justin stroked her hair, then quietly said, "If this is too much… if you've changed your mind, it's okay. Just say so."

"What?" Alex repeated then, shaking her head. "Changed my mind? About what?"

"About this - about helping me raise Ricky." Justin's grey-green eyes looked down into Alex's as he went on. "I know you didn't know completely what you were getting into. If you've -"

Sitting up straight, Alex shook her head quickly, frowning at her brother. "No. I haven't changed my mind. I want to help you with Ricky." She paused a moment then, grinned and said, "Sorry, but you're stuck with me."

Justin smiled, straightening up as well, and shook his head a little. "I'm not."

"What?" Alex frowned, then raised a hand, pointing at him with it. "Oh yes you are… you are definitely -"

"I'm not sorry," Justin clarified then, catching Alex's hand in his. "Come on. Let's go see Ricky."

...


	2. Chapter 4

_When you cry I'll be there baby_

_telling you were never nothing less than beautiful_

_So don't you worry_

_I'm your angel standing by_

_- _Angel Standing By_, by Jewel_

...

"Isn't poop supposed to be _brown_?" Alex eyed the... substance in Ricky's diaper with obvious distaste. It was a dark green color, almost black, and looked more like tar than like anything else she'd seen before. The way that it clung to the diaper - and Ricky's skin - was like tar as well, and Alex wrinkled her nose at it.

"It's meconium." Much to Alex's disgust, Justin was handling this just fine, lifting Ricky off the diaper, placing him face-down on the little blue baby blanket the hospital had given them. When the heck did _he_ become okay with poop? "It fills a baby's digestive tract while it's in the womb. The first few bowel movements will be like this." Carefully, he took a wet wipe and wiped one cheek clean, then pulled out another wipe and handed it to Alex. "Okay, you do the other side."

Alex opened her mouth to say no, already starting to shake her head, but then she heard Theresa shift behind her. _Oh, great. Last thing I need is a "You say you want to help with the baby, but you can't even handle a little... meco-whatsis."_

"Sure," she said instead as she took the wipe, opened it, then began to clean Ricky just as Justin had. The stuff was stubbornly sticky, and it took a little rubbing, but it came off.

"Good." Justin turned Ricky over again, onto his back, and as he did, Alex turned to the diaper bag and took out a diaper. Justin reached for it, but Alex pulled it away from him.

"I'm getting this one," she said, a hint of defiance in her tone. "You hold him still."

Theresa's voice came from behind them. "You need to check his front and make sure it's clean too."

"Well, of course," Alex said, putting an exasperated I-knew-that tone into it. "You act like I don't know anything about babies at all."

"You never helped with Max, and you never baby-sat."

Ignoring her mother's commentary, Alex checked Ricky over quickly. Everything looked clean, and she slid the diaper under him, lifting his bottom a moment to do so, pulled up the center part, then stripped the backing off the tape tabs on the sides and fastened it in place. As she did, she remembered to keep a finger against his leg to make sure the diaper was snug there, but not too tight.

Finished, she looked up from Ricky to Justin, who was smiling approvingly, then Theresa, who nodded. "Good job. When did you learn to do that?"

"_I_ never baby-sat, but Harper did, and I remember what she did with the little monsters." Realizing what she'd just said, Alex followed it quickly with, "Uh - not that Ricky's a monster." She picked him up and cradled him in her arms, then ducked her head down to kiss him on the forehead. "He's a little angel."

"Takes after his father," Theresa said to that, reaching up to ruffle Justin's hair. Alex let out a little laugh as their mother gave him a kiss on the cheek, with Justin tolerated with only the slightest of eye rolls.

"Yeah, _him_ an angel? I find _that_ hard to believe. He's fussy _now_, I hate thinking what he must've been like as a baby."

"Oh, he was. The quietest baby I ever saw. He always had this _serious_ expression, like he was studying every -"

"That explains a lot," Alex put in with a grin. "Even as a baby, he didn't know how to have fun."

Justin shot her an annoyed look and opened his mouth, but it was Max who spoke first. "Well, he _did_ manage to get drunk and make a baby, so he must've learned to have fun at some point."

Max looked back down at his DS, which was suddenly the only source of sound in the room as Justin blushed a deep red, Theresa gave Max a glare which he didn't seem to notice at all, and even Alex looked away. _Yeah, he did. Kind of hard to deny that with the proof in my arms here._ After a moment, she snuck a glance at Justin, who was now looking down, still pinkish.

_I'm going to have to talk to him about what happened. But not here in front of Mom. Later._

...

"You couldn't have found a first-floor apartment?" Alex sighed, shifting the bag full of baby stuff the hospital had given them on her shoulder.

After Ricky had fed twice and pooped twice, and had survived Justin and Alex's handling several times, the hospital had finally admitted that he seemed to be a perfectly healthy and normal baby, and released him. The new parents were supplied with what seemed like way too many diapers (although Theresa assured them they'd be surprised at how quickly they went through them once Ricky was through with the meconium and pooping normally), formula, a couple of bottles, a blankie, wet wipes - in short, everything new parents would need for their baby for the first few days except headache medicine and patience.

At some point during their stay, Alex had learned that new mothers were normally taken out of the hospital in a wheelchair with their babies, and that the hospital even did that for adoptive moms of newborns. And since having someone else take care of moving her was definitely something Alex could enjoy, she insisted on having that done, and after about half a dozen eye rolls (answered by three shoulder punches), Justin went along with it.

She'd almost fallen asleep on the drive over to the new apartment, so Justin (who somehow was managing, despite having had even less sleep than Alex) had taken Ricky in the car, and Alex had leaned against him and dozed. This had resulted in Theresa taking half a dozen pictures, none of which Alex would have allowed if she'd been conscious.

Now that Alex was having to actually move on her own, though, she was grumbling as the five of them climbed the stairs. Well, only four of them were actually climbing them, since Justin was carrying Ricky up. "Hey - I wasn't exactly spoiling for choice, looking for someplace on this kind of short notice." Jerry answered her complaint. "I got it on a month-to-month lease, so when you find something better, you can get out of here quickly. It's got you two someplace to live right now, though."

He opened the door, then held out his hand for everyone else to go in. Justin was in front, but Alex moved faster and slipped in first. "Gotta make sure it's safe for Ricky," she said, giving Justin a grin and a wink.

The door opened onto an entryway by the kitchen - a little eight-by-ten area, most of that taken up by the U-shaped countertop. Alex stepped into it, onto the yellow linoleum that looked like it was probably twenty years old, and took a moment to set down the bag that held Ricky's diapers and formula as the rest of the family came in.

Across the entry from kitchen, to the left of the door, was a small space with two doors, both closed. Ahead was the living area, an empty space covered with tan carpeting. At the far end, a bay window gave a wonderful view - of the street below. There was a chair there, and a TV, and, against the wall, a very familiar orange couch. Alex blinked at it for a moment. "Is that…."

"Yes," Theresa said, moving behind Alex as Justin went to the left and opened one of the doors there. "Your father went back home earlier today and brought a few things back. That's why he was gone so long."

"What are you going to do without it, though?"

"Oh, I'm getting a new couch out of it," Theresa replied with a smile. "I tried to get him to give you two the TV from the living room as well, but he wouldn't go for that, so you've just got Justin's."

"We can manage with that." That was Justin's voice, coming from the bedroom. "Really, thank you. This is way more than I expected," he continued, coming out.

Jerry clapped him on the shoulder. "It's the least we can do for our grandson," he said, then grimaced a little uncomfortably. "Really, I wish we could stay and help. But we've already been gone from the shop for too long." He paused a beat, said, "But we're only a phone call away, remember. And once you find a better place, let us know - we can bring more of your stuff when you have more space."

"Yeah, about that -" Justin cut off as Ricky began to squirm. "Oh, I think somebody's hungry. Alex, what did you -"

"I've got it," she said, already opening the bag and getting Ricky's bottle out. She carried it toward the microwave, prompting a "You shouldn't -" from Theresa, which Alex answered with "I know - heat water, then use that to heat the formula. Are there cups?"

Theresa looked to Jerry, but Max answered. "Yeah." He opened a cabinet, got out a mug and handed it to Alex, who turned around and filled it with water.

Seeing that Alex seemed to have things well in hand, Justin moved around to the living room side of the counter, stroking Ricky's cheek as he did. Ricky rooted, trying to catch the finger and suck on it, and Justin smiled. "It's okay, guy. It'll be ready in just a minute."

Ricky made a face, and Justin looked up, then smiled and took the bottle as Alex held it out to him. A few seconds later, Ricky was happily drinking away, and Alex grinned at Jerry, Theresa, and Max. "See? We've got this under control. Like a piece of cake."

Theresa and Jerry shot each other little smiles at that, while Max rubbed his belly. "Cake? Is there cake here? Because I could really use some cake."

"We'll get something to eat in a while. Right now… Justin, give me Ricky," Theresa said, moving to him. "You and Alex need to get some sleep while you can. Ricky's still going to be sleeping most of the time today, but it won't be long before he'll be waking you up every two or three hours."

As Justin settled Ricky into Theresa's arms, she nodded toward the bedroom. "Go on. Sleep. You hardly got any at the hospital, I know. Get some now while there's someone else to watch Ricky."

"Theresa -"

She rolled her eyes at Jerry's complaint, said, "By the time we get back today, it'd be too late to open the shop anyway. We can stay a few more hours."

Jerry moved closer to his wife and whispered something to her, which she answered with a little more volume, but still not loudly enough for Alex to make out what she was saying.

As the two of them argued, Justin moved over to Alex. "You take the bedroom," he said, but she rolled her eyes, then grabbed him by the hand.

"Come on. You stay out here, you won't get any sleep. " She looked at him over her shoulder, shot him a quick grin. "Or are you afraid you'll get cooties?"

Justin rolled his eyes at that and followed her.

…

They slept for six hours, laying on top of the bed, still clothed, only their shoes removed. Surprisingly, Alex was the first one to wake up - but then, she'd actually managed to nap a few times at the hospital, while Justin had been awake continuously for close to forty hours.

The first thing she noticed was the clock. It was familiar to her - Justin's old clock from his room. But why was she waking up looking at it? And why was it saying eight PM? She never -

The second thing she noticed was the weight on her side and pressure against her back. She moved her arm to see what it was, then froze as she touched skin. _Who - oh, right._ Alex's brain began to function again, memory coming with it, and she gently stroked Justin's arm, smiling a little. _He must really be asleep, to curl up against me like that. _Carefully, she lifted his arm off of her, then moved away from him enough to get space to turn over.

Facing Justin now, Alex looked at his sleeping face. Even asleep, he still looked tired and worried after the last couple of days, and she wondered if he was dreaming about Ricky. Carefully, she reached out a hand and stroked his hair, then jerked her hand back when he moved, turning his head toward where she'd touched.

She waited a moment, holding her breath, then relaxed when Justin settled without waking up. His face wasn't still now, though - his eyes were moving under his eyelids, and the muscles around them tightened in a frown. Afraid she'd given him a bad dream, Alex moved closer and hugged him, then whispered, "It's okay. I'm here, Justin." She stroked his hair again, trying to be soothing, then stiffened a little in surprise as his arms went around her.

Justin held onto her like a teddy bear, his grip tight enough to be a little uncomfortable, but Alex didn't try to pull away, instead kept stroking and whispering. "Hey, hey... whatever you're dreaming, it's just a dream. I'm here. You're okay, and I'm okay, and Ricky's okay, so there's nothing to worry about. Just relax. Relax."

He did then, just a little, his grip on her loosening, and Alex smiled. _I'm helping him handle things already, and he doesn't even know it. Yeah, he needs me._ With that thought, she closed her eyes.

...


	3. Chapter 5

_Sleep, my child, and peace attend thee _

_All through the night _

_Guardian angels God will send thee _

_All through the night _

_Soft the drowsy hours are creeping _

_Hill and dale in slumber sleeping _

_I my loving vigil keeping _

_All through the night _

_"All Through the Night" - _Traditional Irish Lullaby

…

Another two hours later, after dinner (pizza, ordered in), time spent cooing over Ricky as a family (Theresa seemed determined to get in as much time holding the baby as she could while still there), and even Max holding him for about three minutes, it was finally time for the rest of the family to leave.

"We'll be back to visit next Sunday." Theresa gave Justin a hug, then moved to Alex and carefully hugged her and Ricky.

Jerry nodded, clapping Justin on the shoulder as he did. "If you need anything, let us know. We want to help."

"Yeah." Max reached a hand out, smoothed Ricky's hair, then gave Alex a squeeze on the shoulder. "If you need someone to babysit or something, call me."

Alex looked at her little brother curiously. "You'd babysit him?"

"What, me? No. But I'll find someone who can do it." He gave her and Justin a nod and a wink. "I know people."

Knowing quite well that with Max, it was better not to ask, they didn't. Turning back to Jerry and Theresa, Alex smiled at them. "Everything'll be fine." She lifted Ricky up and kissed him on the forehead. "How much trouble can one baby be?"

Jerry and Theresa exchanged a look and a smile at that. "I'm sure you two can handle things," Theresa said, "but call anyway. Even if you don't need anything, call in a couple of days to tell us how Ricky's doing." Stepping forward, she said, "And let me give my little _nieto_ one more kiss before we go!"

…

Later that evening, Alex and Justin put a sound-asleep Ricky down into his bassinet. He didn't fuss, or even stir, but simply kept sleeping as the two of them sat on the old orange couch and looked down at him. He was so tiny, Alex thought, but at the same time, he was the biggest, most important thing in their world now, and would be for years to come.

That thought made her swallow and lick her lips. A little nervously, she glanced at Justin, wondering if he was feeling the same thing, but all his face showed was a slight smile as he looked down at his son.

Alex looked back down at Ricky. The hair at the front of his head was standing up, and she reached a hand down to smooth it, but it popped back up as soon as her fingers moved from it. "Hair's just like mine," Justin said, giving voice to what Alex was thinking. Still smiling, he shook his head. "Poor kid. Doomed to a lifetime of hair that wants to stand up."

"I wouldn't call it doomed. It's cute." Alex ran her finger across his hair again, smiled as she watched it pop right back up behind her moving finger.

"Oh? You never seemed to think it was cute on me. I seem to remember _someone_ telling Mom that the reason she put the gum in my hair was to get it to stay down."

Alex looked at her brother, trying to keep a straight face, but Justin could still see the trace of a smile around her eyes. "Hey, the statute of limitations ran out on that a long time ago. And what five year old publicly calls her older brother cute? It just would've been another thing for Gigi to tease me over."

"Wait..." Justin tilted his head to the side, then blinked. "Did you just admit that you think I'm cute?"

Putting on her best innocent look, Alex replied, "I never said that. I may have admitted that the way your hair stands up is cute, but that implies nothing about the rest of you."

"Uh-huh." Justin shook his head and chuckled. "You sure you shouldn't be looking at law school instead of art school? With answers like that…." He paused a second, then went on. "Anyway, if what they said at the hospital about him starting to wake up every couple of hours once he gets the meconium out of his system is true, you'd better get some sleep while you can. I'll sleep out here and watch him tonight."

The suggestion made sense, and Alex knew that Justin was trying to be nice, but still... "No, you should take the bed. Tomorrow's Monday, and you've got classes. I don't have anything I have to do but take care of Ricky here."

"You need to start your paperwork for college. You should do that tomorrow - the sooner, the better."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Yes, Mom. Are you going to come in the shower and make sure I wash behind my ears too?"

That got a hurt look from Justin. After about three seconds of looking at that, Alex sighed, rolled her eyes, then punched Justin in the arm. "Oh, come _on_. Don't you know when I'm kidding yet? Is your ego really _that_ fragile?"

He looked at her for another second, then down and away, angling his face away from her. "Sorry. It's just been a long few days, you know? I'm not exactly at my best right now."

"Hey…." Alex gently stroked her fingertips across Justin's shoulder, putting her other hand on the inside of his elbow as she did. "Justin… you're doing great. Honestly, if I were in your shoes, I don't think I'd do as well."

Turning back toward her, Justin said, "Really?"

"Yeah." Alex flipped her hair. "If I suddenly found out I was having a baby, and the guy hadn't told me about it, and…." She stopped at Justin's incredulous expression. "What?"

"It's not that I don't appreciate the sentiment, but… I don't really see how this scenario works. I mean, it's not like you could get some guy pregnant…."

Alex shrugged. "I don't know. Happens in fanfics all the time." She paused, frowned. "Although it always seems to be with two guys, now that you mention it."

"Wait… what?" Justin shook his head then and held his hands up between them. "Actually, no, don't explain it. I'm pretty sure I'd rather not know what you're talking about. Just… thanks. Consider me reassured."

"Good." Alex smiled and squeezed his shoulder and elbow. "Okay. Going to go shower now, then go to bed." She stood up, then leaned down and gave Justin a quick kiss on the cheek. "And thanks for the bed."

She turned away, then turned back, grinning, and brushed her hand over Justin's hair, where it stood up in front - then ran for the bathroom, giggling as Justin went "Hey!" behind her.

...

"Alex." Justin put his hand on Alex's shoulder, gave her a gentle shake.

He was rewarded by a sound much like a dying animal might make after being run over. Twice. He wasn't sure how he'd write, but at least eight 'u's would be involved.

"I'm leaving Ricky's bassinet here by the bed. I just fed him about ten minutes ago. I'm not sure what time I'll be back - I need to talk to Mrs. Amherst at the library about when I can make up the hours I missed over the weekend. I'll call when I know, though. Okay?"

This time, the noise Alex made was vaguely positive sounding, and a nod accompanied it. Justin considered asking her to repeat what he'd said, but knowing his sister and mornings, decided that by the time he could get coherent speech out of her, he'd probably be late.

So it was that Alex was awoken about an hour and a half later by the sound of Ricky crying. For the first few seconds, she closed her eyes harder, waiting for Justin to get him. When that didn't happen, she sat up and blinked - and then realized Ricky's crying was coming from in the room with her. "Okay, okay, I'm right here. You don't have to be so _loud_."

Stepping off the bed, Alex bent over him, stroked the side of his face with a finger. He didn't seem to notice that, but just kept on crying. She moved her hand toward his diaper - and then caught a whiff of the smell. _Oh, yeah, he definitely needs changing. Now where's the diaper bag?_

Alex looked up, started toward the living room, where she'd seen it last - and tripped over it on her first step. Still feeling groggy, she didn't manage to catch herself, and fell down onto the floor, hitting one elbow hard enough to make her grit her teeth.

_Of course Justin put it right there with Ricky. Wake up, Alex. _Shaking her head to try to clear it, she got to her knees and moved back to the bassinet. "It's okay, Ricky. We'll get that off you, and get a nice clean diaper on you now." When she opened up his diaper, his poop was an olive green color this time - and the smell became much stronger than it had been with the diaper closed.

Making a face, Alex took Ricky by the feet and lifted his butt off the diaper, moved it out from under him, and then realized that she should have moved him off the bassinet and onto something else, so she wouldn't get poop on it. Sighing a little, she kept his bottom in the air while she used one hand to get out a couple of wipes, then wiped him clean.

With that done (and the used wipes tossed onto the diaper), Alex was able to set him down again, then use both hands to get out another diaper and put it onto him. Ricky was still crying even after she was done, but not quite as loudly now, so Alex picked him up and rocked him. "There, there. You're all cleaned up now. Are you hungry too?" She stood up with him and started toward the kitchen, stepping around the diaper bag this time, but by the time she got there, he'd stopped crying.

He hadn't fallen asleep yet, though, but instead was looking up at her with those big blue eyes, so full of innocence and trust, and Alex detoured over to the couch and sat down on it, still in her underwear and sleep shirt. "Hello. Your name's Ricky. I'm your aunt Alex. But I'm kind of your mommy too."

She stroked at his face, feeling the smooth, soft skin, taking in the proportions of it. His eyes were huge in that tiny face, almost the size of an adult's eyes, she thought, and his nose was tiny, just a cute little nub. His body was still covered in the little blue outfit they'd given him at the hospital, and thinking about it, Alex didn't remember any other clothes in the stuff the hospital had given them.

Standing up then, Alex grinned a little, bent her face down to Ricky's, then rubbed her nose against his. "You know what we're doing tonight when your daddy gets home? We're going shopping!"

...


	4. Chapter 6

Author's Note: I thought I'd mentioned this before, but it seems I only did on my LJ, and not here - this story is set in a no-magic AU. Partly this is because there was no mention of magic in omens' original story upon which this is based, and partly because I think it's more interesting to have Justin and Alex (especially Alex!) having to deal with Ricky's diapers, feeding, etc. without being able to use magic.

Any improvements in my writing of Alex's dialogue are due to Save Vs. Magic, who beta'ed this. Go read his stories.

With that said, on with the story!

…

_Oh, but every time I'm close to you,_

_There's too much I can't say_

_And you just walk away._

_And I forgot to tell you I love you._

"I Love You," by Sarah McLachlan

...

"Alex... _please_. I know I told you we can only spend fifty dollars, but that doesn't mean we need to go look at every store and then go _back_ to actually _buy_ things. If it comes out to be a little more that's okay..."

Ignoring his statement, Alex continued to look through the rack, flipping along, giving most outfits only a second or so's consideration. Some she stopped and looked at, touching them, feeling the cloth... and working up Justin's hopes that maybe, just maybe, she would actually take it down to buy it.

But there had been no such luck so far. Instead, they were now in the fourth store they'd gone to (and who the hell knew there were so many places to buy baby clothes? Seriously - it wasn't like babies stayed this small for long!) "Please," he tried again. "Just buy something. _Any_thing."

Alex took an outfit down, turned around and held it up to little Ricky. She frowned and bit her lip, considering - and Justin found himself looking at her as she did. She looked so serious, so… _different_ from how he was used to seeing her. He'd never really seen her look quite so grown up. _It looks good on her_.

He hadn't really seen her that much in the last year, since he'd gone off to college. She'd lost a little bit of the baby fat in her face, and her body had filled out a little. The few times he'd been home, for Christmas, Spring Break, and a few weekends, the two of them hadn't really hung out. He'd spent more time with her in the last few days than the whole of the previous year, really.

At the hospital, he'd been too busy trying not to scream and climb the walls to really notice Alex - well, of course he'd noticed that she was _there_. After all, he'd been the one who'd called her and gotten her to come there. And really… he hadn't been sure what he was expecting when he did that. That is, he'd known that she'd come for him - they'd always been there for each other, since they were kids - but he hadn't expected anything like what -

Suddenly, Alex looked up from Ricky, and Justin realized she'd been talking for several seconds, and he had no idea what she'd been saying. "So I'm right, yeah?" Alex asked, then blinked as their eyes met. She cocked her head a little, then asked, "What?"

Justin blinked and swallowed. "What what?" He wanted to look away, tried to, but there was something about Alex's eyes, and he couldn't. _Oh, God. I'm staring at her. Why can't I stop staring at her? She's going to be weirded out any second now…._

Instead, though, she shook her head and smiled. "Wow - you really _are_ out of it. Justin, you should have said something." Her hand touched his cheek, stroking it, and then, thankfully, she looked away, back down at the outfit she was holding against Ricky. "We'll get this one. And there's a couple of others here that I liked."

With Alex's eyes looking down instead of into his, Justin was finally able to look away. As he did, she draped the outfit onto his shoulder - the left shoulder, so she wouldn't cover Ricky's head - then turned back to the racks and flipped quickly back through them, looking for the outfits she'd mentally earmarked as possibilities.

Craning his head a little, Justin looked at what Alex had picked out. It looked... surprisingly practical, really. For herself, she tended to favor clothes that Justin thought of as 'girly', with relatively thin cloth, spaghetti straps, and other features that wouldn't stand up to a lot of wear-and-tear. The outfit she'd picked here, though, consisted of a little pair of denim overalls which buttoned along the inseam to give access for changing diapers, and a brown t-shirt which probably wouldn't show stains too badly.

Feeling curious, Justin pointed at the outfit with his chin. "Why'd you pick this?"

Alex looked at him. "What? Why? What do you think's wrong with it?"

"Nothing," he said, shaking his head. "It just seems... more practical than I expected."

"Yeah, well... I just keep asking myself, 'What would Harper buy?' Quality-wise, not style!" she clarified, holding up a hand. "No way I'm going to put Ricky through _that_."

Justin nodded slowly, impressed by Alex's logic. Come to think of it, while Harper's clothes might not be anything anyone else would wear, they _were_ well-constructed. Which was kind of crazy, since she rarely seemed to wear the same outfit more than once, but, then, that was Harper.

"Anyways, a couple more, then we'll hit the food court for dinner, then take you home and let you get some sleep. Sound good?"

"Yeah." Justin nodded carefully, not wanting the outfit on his shoulder to slide off. Sleep _did_ sound good, come to think of it. He'd run all over campus that morning, not just going to his usual classes, but also visiting the professors whose classes he'd missed on Thursday and Friday, explaining his situation. Doctor Rosenberg had told him not to worry about making up the homework he'd missed - she'd just not average it into his grade - and also to make sure to bring the baby by when he got a chance, so she could see it. She had three children of her own and loved to talk about them, so _that_ hadn't been too unexpected.

Mrs. Amherst at the library had also been very understanding - unfortunately, though, the work-study program didn't give leave. Students only got paid for the actual hours they put in. That meant Justin needed to make up the eight hours of work he'd missed over the weekend - he really couldn't afford not to get that money right now. Thankfully, the library wasn't exactly overstaffed, so he'd been able to do two hours after his classes were over for the day. She'd invited him to bring Ricky by as well, and he'd promised he would in a few days.

Least understanding had been his sociology teacher, oddly enough. Justin had spent close to an hour in Mr. (he was a TA, still working on his doctorate) Milton's office - about half an hour discussing (arguing) it, then close to twenty minutes making up the quiz that had happened on Friday. Which Milton was going to give him a 15% markdown on. _And_ he wanted to see the baby too, but Justin had the strong feeling that that was more to prove that there _was_ a baby, rather than from any love of children.

His other two professors had treated the incident as just another speed bump on the road of academic life, not really seeming interested either way... and that was fine with Justin.

Then, of course, he'd come home to find Alex wanting to go out and shop for clothes for Ricky. Not that he had anything against the idea _per se_, but he was worried about money, and had expected that Mom would be wanting to shop for Ricky when she and Dad and Max visited over the weekend. Thus his insistence to Alex that they limit themselves to buying just a few outfits.

(And also - twelve dollars for what was probably about two square feet of cloth? Were they serious? Justin had gotten t-shirts for less that could probably have made three or four outfits for Ricky.)

Alex set another outfit on his shoulder, then crossed to a different rack, found a third one and added it to stack. After that, she picked up pack of cheap 'onesies': little outfits like a long t-shirt which could wrap around a diaper at the bottom and button together… and which reminded Justin more than anything else of old-man pajamas from cartoons, with the flap in the back.

"Okay," she said then, turning back to Justin and taking the outfits off his shoulder, then frowning. Setting them aside on a shelf, she said, "Give me Ricky. You're going to need your arms free to pay."

The pair of them moved together, Alex bringing her arms up for Justin to gingerly transfer the bundle of baby boy across. They still hadn't really gotten to practice this too much, though, and Justin was tired besides - so they shook Ricky enough to wake him up. His little face scrunched up (just the way Alex's did when she was woken up too early, Justin thought) and then he opened his eyes for a moment, still looking uncomfortable - and then began to make little unhappy noises, not yet really crying, but making it quite clear that he would be shortly if something wasn't done.

"See if he's hungry." As he said that, Justin slid his left hand under Ricky, feeling for the leg opening of his diaper cover.

"Right," Alex said, nodding. Keeping Ricky cradled in her left arm, she brought his right hand to his face and stroked one finger across his cheek. He didn't turn toward it, and she shook her head, saying "No, not hungry..." and then stopped and looked at Justin. "Uhh... what are you doing?"

Frowning and looking off into the distance as he kept feeling the smooth, rounded shape under the cloth, he said, "Trying to check his diaper."

"Well, you're not going to find his diaper on my boob."

"On your-?"

Justin stopped and blinked, looking at Alex, then blushed a deep crimson and pulled his hand away quickly, while Alex gave him an amused smile. "No worries. I hadn't had any action in a while anyway, so..."

As she saw Justin's vaguely horrified look, Alex's smile turned into a grin. "What about you? You gotten to first base with anyone since Marjorie?" Justin simply stared at Alex, and after a few seconds she rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on - here." She grabbed his right hand, pulled it against Ricky's leg. "Check him on the other side, and you won't have to worry about feeling me up by accident instead."

Looking down at the floor, still blushing, Justin slid his finger into the diaper - then immediately pulled it out, making a face. "He definitely needs changing. Umm..."

It was then that Ricky began to cry, drawing in a breath and then opening his mouth with a noise that, while objectively not all that loud, was certainly penetrating. Justin felt an immediate reaction of wanting to do _something_ about it, and began looking around for somewhere to change Ricky.

"Come on," Alex said, turning to lead the way toward the back. "These stores usually have a family bathroom. We can all go in there." She was walking quickly, leaving Justin no choice but to grab the diaper bag and outfits and follow.

...

In the bathroom, Justin folded down the changing table, then moved aside to let Alex set the still-crying Ricky down on it. The little guy was squirming a little, and Justin put a hand on his belly to keep him in place, then grabbed the strap, pulled it across him, and frowned as he realized that the buckle was broken. "Uh... I guess I'll just have to hold onto Ricky."

"You are such a mother hen," Alex said, smiling and shaking her head. She was unzipping the diaper bag with Justin still holding it, and he held still to let her do that.

"And what? You'd let him fall off?"

"No." Alex gave Justin an annoyed look over her shoulder as he set the diaper bag down on the changing table. With his now-free hand, Justin unsnapped the bottom of Ricky's onesie, then started to open the sides of his diaper cover. Alex got the other side before he could switch to it. "Just... most guys aren't as careful as you."

"Let me get this one - you've been taking care of him all day." Justin tried to reach around Alex, but she shifted to the side, grinning a little as she cut him off.

If Justin were more awake, he would've been wondering why Alex, of all people, was being this nice. But he wasn't, and instead of thinking, he reached around his sister with his other arm, trapping her between himself and the changing table as he reached into the diaper bag and took out a wipe. "Hey!" she said, and then it was Justin's turn to grin.

"Sorry. Like it or not, I'm at least helping." He took the wipe to Ricky's bottom, leaning a little to the side to look over Alex's shoulder at what he was doing. She gave out an exasperated sigh - and also smiled, though Justin couldn't see that.

Justin set the dirty diaper off to the side, then used both hands to hold up Ricky's bottom as Alex slid the new diaper under him. Of course, that was when Ricky decided to let loose with a stream, sending it arcing up and onto Justin's arm. Alex made a little yelp and stepped back, pressing her against Justin in their current position, while Justin gritted his teeth, closed his eyes, and held on.

It lasted about two seconds, which was all the time it took for Alex's startlement to turn to laughter. "Oh wow - who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?" She leaned over and kissed Ricky on the nose, grinning at the grumbling noises that Justin was making.

Justin ground his teeth, and when he spoke, his voice came out a little shrill. "He's not a dog! Hurry up and get the diaper on him so I can wash this off already!" Alex straightened back up and pulled the diaper sides around and taped them into place, not hurrying at all.

"It's just a little bit of baby pee. It's not going to hurt you, tough guy." Half a minute later, she snapped the bottom of Ricky's onesie back together, then lifted him off the table onto her shoulder, and Justin moved quickly away to the sink and started rapidly scrubbing his hands and forearms like a doctor prepping for surgery, while Alex watched and laughed, rocking a no-longer-crying Ricky on her shoulder.

...

On the bright side, that _did_ wake Justin back up. The two of them bought the clothes Alex had picked out, then stopped for a quick dinner (over which they filled each other in on their respective days). After that, they headed back to the apartment, where they sat on the old orange couch for a bit, watching TV. Tired, Justin let Alex have the remote, and half-dozed through the shows until Alex got up and bodily pulled him off the couch.

"Come on - you need to sleep some, so you can watch Ricky while I sleep. And you need to do it where you can get some real sleep, so get your butt in bed."

"No... I can sleep on the couch," Justin mumbled, shaking his head slowly, eyes drooping. "The bed's yours."

"We're not going to be sleeping at the same time anyway, most of the time, so we'll share it."

"I..." Justin stopped and turned around, blinking at Alex, and as tired as he was, he almost looked drunk. "Thanks." He paused for a moment, then said, "Why are you being so nice to me? You're never nice to me, Alex."

Alex felt a blush rising to her face, and rather than answer, she grabbed Justin by the arm, put a hand on his other shoulder, then turned him around and gave him a shove through the doorway, toward the bed. Quickly, she closed the door, saying through it, "Oh, I just figured I'd let Ricky play with Daddy's dolls while you sleep..."

The "ALEX!" through the door was immediate, and she grinned as she held the knob, keeping him from opening it.

...


	5. Chapter 7

_How long do you want to be loved_

_Is forever enough, is forever enough?_

_How long do you want to be loved_

_Is forever enough?_

_Cause I'm never, never giving you up_.

"Lullaby" by the Dixie Chicks

...

Four days later, Alex Russo was learning what the word _tired_ really meant. For the last three days, Ricky hadn't slept for more than two hours at a time. Alex thought that maybe she got four whole hours in a row at one point, when Justin was home for the evening and taking care of Ricky, but she wasn't really sure. It seemed like every time he cried, she'd be awake immediately, whether she was in the same room with him or not.

Justin was doing his share, of course - but Justin was the one with the job and the school right now. He did the best he could to give Alex time to sleep in the evenings, but he had to study. So most of the caring for Ricky was still Alex's job. If she stopped to think about it, the fact that Ricky is so completely dependent on her would be terrifying. But this is Alex Russo, and she never stops to think about anything, unless she absolutely has to. And right then, she probably couldn't if she tried.

So instead, she lay on the bed, while out in the living room Justin walked Ricky back and forth, trying to get him to stop crying. Justin was singing something, trying to soothe Ricky, and pieces of it sounded familiar, but between the wall and the door and Ricky's crying, Alex couldn't really hear enough to be sure what it was.

Her eyes were closed, in the hopes that sleep might actually come, but it wasn't working. _Nothing _was working, it seemed like. They'd tried everything they could think of that first night - changing diapers, offering a fresh, warm bottle, rocking, carrying, singing... They'd called their Mom, and she'd recommended rubbing Ricky's belly in case he had trapped gas, or taking him down to the laundry at the apartments and seeing if washing machine sounds would soothe him. Neither of those had worked either, and finally, in desperation, they'd called the hospital.

That led to a good three hours wasted, between getting there, waiting there, being seen, and getting back. The nurses and doctors had poked and prodded Ricky, and finally told them that it was 'colic'. Which, they soon learned, was basically doctor-speak for "the baby cries a lot and we don't know why." They had, however, been reassured that babies who had colic usually grew out of it.

In three to four _months_.

_I don't think I can possibly stand this for four months. I'll go nuts. Stark raving. _Alex turned over, grabbed one of the pillows, and put it over her head, pressing it in around her ears. _Please, please, please just let him stop. Please -_

And then the crying sound did stop. Alex lay there for a few seconds before turning onto her back again and removing the pillow. The crying was still stopped, and now she could actually make out Justin's singing. His voice was hoarse and low, and she looked at the clock, then blinked in wonder as she saw that somehow, two and a half hours had gone by.

_I must've fallen asleep. Has Justin been singing for _four hours? She put her feet on the floor, stood, then promptly sat back down onto the bed, her feet still unsteady under her. After a couple of seconds, Alex tried again, and this time she was able to get up and walk - albeit slowly - and make her way out into the living room, listening to what Justin was singing as she did.

"Oh my little baby love, it is time for you to sleep.

Oh my little baby love, close your eyes, drift away."

Alex stopped just outside the bedroom doorway, holding the door half-open as she listened. Justin was pacing back and forth, rocking Ricky as he did. With the apartment as small as it was, he could only take about half a dozen short, shuffling steps before he had to turn around again. His eyes looked glazed to Alex, and she wondered if he even realized that Ricky actually had finally fallen asleep.

"Go to sleep, go to sleep, tomorrow's another day.

Oh, it's time for you to sleep, close those big brown eyes..."

As Justin approached her, glazed eyes on the floor, Alex stepped forward to gently put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey," she interrupted. "Ricky's out. You can stop singing."

He looked at her and blinked a few times, scrunching his eyes hard. "Oh... sorry. I was trying to keep him asleep so you could get some sleep."

Rolling her eyes at that, Alex took Justin's upper arm and pulled lightly, stepping back toward the bedroom. "You didn't need to do that. _You _need to get some sleep too. Come on."

Justin shook his head and stopped at that. "No... you sleep. I'll keep Ricky from waking up."

Turning back to her brother, Alex tilted her head and gave him a look. "And how are you going to do that? Drug him or something? If he decides he's going to wake up, he'll wake up. So we _both_ should sleep while we can." Stepping up to Justin as she spoke, Alex slid her arm across Justin's and lifted Ricky out of his arms. Cradling him against her breasts, she used her other hand to lift Ricky's arm. It moved limply in her fingers.

"See? He's out like a light right now. Which is what you should be." Pointing to the bed, she said, "You. In there. Now."

"I can -" Justin started in protest, but Alex shook her head and gave him a glare, whereupon he shut his mouth with a click and started into the bedroom. Trailing behind, Alex moved to Ricky's bassinet and put him down into it, moving carefully. As she crawled onto the bed, Justin blinked at her, then started to move off of it.

Alex grabbed his wrist. "_No_," she said, quietly but emphatically. "You know you won't sleep well on the couch. We'll both sleep here." He looked as if her were going to try to protest again, and again Alex gave him a glare.

This time, though, Justin gave her a sulking look and shook his head. "You don't have to treat me like that, the way Mom does Dad when he's doing something she doesn't like." He turned over, pulling his wrist away from her, and crossed his arms. Though she couldn't see his face now, Alex was sure he'd be pouting. _Just like Dad does._

"Well, yeah, I do, if you're going to try to be a martyr like Dad." Alex shook her head and rolled her eyes, letting go of Justin's wrist as she moved up beside him on the bed. "She tells him not to do that, he protests, she gives him the look, he sulks like you're doing now the rest of the day, and then there's the squeaking noises from their bedroom for half the night when they argue over it where we can't hear, and he's always happy again in the morning."

Justin turned over again at that and looked at Alex, a vaguely horrified expression on his face. "There's _what_ from their bedroom?"

Alex blinked. "Squeaking noises," she repeated. Justin's eyes opened a little wider, and Alex said, "You never heard them?"

Justin shook his head slowly, and Alex shrugged. "Oh. Must be because my bedroom's closer to theirs. But yeah - I don't know which of them's voice sounds like that when they argue, but -"

"Why do you think they're arguing?"

Frowning, Alex said, "Because what else would the noises be? It's obvious they don't want to argue in front of us, so they do it in the bedroom."

For a moment, Justin just looked at her in silence. Alex frowned more deeply at that, and then Justin started to turn red. Alex opened her mouth, and Justin quickly reached past her and turned off the light. "You're right. We should go to sleep. Good night, Alex."

...

Alex brushed her hair slowly, looking into the mirror as she did, humming to herself. _I look spectacular. _She dropped her hand with the brush to her side and turned around slowly, taking a good look at herself in the mirror. The dress fit her perfectly, and the pearl choker called attention to both her shoulders and the long, graceful curve of her neck. A few hairs were straying around the edges of her hairdo, and Alex carefully arranged those, making it tidy, but not _too _neat.

_He's going to be speechless, _Alex thought with a grin as she leaned forward and carefully applied her lipstick. She puckered, checking it, smiled again - and then jumped a little, startled by a crash from outside. Quickly, Alex turned and opened the door, then stepped out into the hall. She heard another sound, this one from downstairs, and she moved down to the stairs, going slowly to keep her heels from clicking on the floor.

Standing at the top of the stairs, Alex looked down into the living room, craning her head to be able to see better. Another sound came up, and Alex bit her lip, went down two steps, and then immediately backed up the stairs as she saw it.

It was a man, his head lolling to the right as if broken, both arms extended forward at a low angle. She'd only seen him take one shuffling step, but that was enough to know what he was. And where there was one, there were more.

_Can they come up stairs? _she wondered for a moment, then shook her head. _Duh. He had to come up stairs to get to living room. Unless he's somehow smart enough to work an elevator. Or lucky enough to - _Alex stopped and shook her head. _Okay, not the thing to be thinking about right now. What am I going to do?_

There was a faint creaking then, like a foot on the stairs, and Alex's eyes widened, and she backed away, into one of the rooms, closed the door behind her, twisted the lock, and turned and leaned back against the door. Or started to, rather. Just as her shoulders were about to touch the door, Alex realized which room she'd gone into. The nursery.

Ricky was laying on his back, there in his crib, and Alex took two steps, then grimaced and stopped, taking off her shoes so she could run. His face was screwed up as if he was going to start crying any second, and Alex picked him up quickly, holding him to her chest and rocking. "Shh, shh, shh... it's okay. I'm right here. Just don't cry. Please, please don't cry..."

His face scrunched up, and he took in a deep breath. Alex's whole body tensed, and she looked around desperately for a bottle, a pacifier, anything to give Ricky to keep him quiet... but then he yawned and closed his eyes, and as his face relaxed, Alex let out a slow sigh of relief.

With Ricky tucked securely in her left arm, Alex moved away from the door, rising up onto the balls of her feet and walking as softly as she could. _I should move something against the door. The crib, maybe?_ It was big and heavy enough...

Alex put her right shoulder against the side of the crib and pushed, but only one end slid, and Alex cringed at the noise it made. She looked up at the door - and now it was open, somehow. She moved toward it, hurrying, but she was too slow, it was too much effort to move, as if she were neck-deep in water.

The thing's hand appeared at the door while she was still five feet away. Alex dove for the door, but she was still moving in slow motion, and the zombie was already halfway through the doorway before her hand even touched the wood. With a moan, the thing lurched at her, and Alex half jumped back, then turned and ran, both arms around Ricky now, clutching him close.

The room wasn't a room any more - it was a hallway, with others branching off it, and Alex picked one on the left, went down it, turned into another, this one to the right. The halls went on and on, but there were no doors, and every time she looked back, the thing was still there, chasing after her.

She turned another corner, looking back as she did, then squealed as she ran into something, felt a hand grab her arm. Alex twisted away from it, kicking out - and then stopped as Justin spoke. "Whoa! It's me!"

Alex blinked, looking at him. His hair was disheveled, his face dirty, he was wearing a ripped old Tears of Blood tee and jeans, and right then, Alex was incredibly happy to see him. "It's after us! It -"

"I know," Justin answered, putting his arm around Alex and hustling the three of them down the hall, looking back over his shoulder as they moved. "We need to get out of here."

"Yes, thank you, Captain Obvious," Alex snapped. Justin gave her a look in return, then pushed open a door. They both leaned out and looked up and down the street.

"We should go," Justin and Alex both said together, then both stopped. They looked at each other for half a second, then Alex spoke first. "Right. To the right, I mean."

"Okay." Justin nodded, and the two of them started down the street, Justin swiveling his head, trying to look everywhere at once. Alex felt Ricky start to stir and grimaced.

"He's waking up. Justin, he's waking up!"

"Here, let me -" Justin started, but before he could do anything, Ricky opened his mouth and let out a wail. "Hey, hey, it's okay! Let me see what's wrong..." Another wail, and Alex was looking around them as Justin fussed with Ricky, then bit her lip as she saw the first shuffling forms appear down the street.

"Justin..."

"I know, I know! His diaper's okay, he doesn't feel hot..."

"Justin, they're coming this way!" Alex took a step back, and Justin turned to look.

"Run," Justin said, starting to walk toward the zombies, but Alex moved toward him instead.

"No! I'm not going to leave you!"

He turned and looked into her eyes, and suddenly Justin was right in front of her, holding onto Alex's upper arms with both hands, his eyes seeming huge. "Alex, you have to. Get Ricky somewhere safe. I'll buy you time."

"No," she said again, shaking her head, hair bouncing. "I'm not going to leave you! I -" And then a hand was on Justin's shoulder, and the zombies were pulling him back, away from her, and he was telling her to go, and Alex was screaming, backing away from him, and -

"Alex! Alex!" She opened her eyes, and Justin was there, holding onto both her arms, but his voice was low, and he was saying, "Wake up! You're having a nightmare."

She threw herself against Justin, wrapping her arms tightly around him, burying her face against his shoulder. He grunted a little at the force that she held him with, eyes going wide for a moment, but managed to get his left hand up to her hair, to stroke it. "Hey, hey, it's okay. It was just a nightmare. I'm right here."

...


	6. Chapter 8

I shouldn't love you but I want to

I just can't turn away

I shouldn't see you but I can't move

I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not

'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

- "Just So You Know", by Jesse McCartney

...

With Justin there, and all three of them safe and sound, Alex got over her nightmare quickly. Not even ten minutes later, she was asleep again - and barely five minutes after that, she shifted in her sleep, rolling onto her side and pressing against Justin.

He wasn't asleep at all. While Alex was never one to brood on anything, Justin most certainly was. And so he lay there, brow creased with worry as he watched his sleeping sister, holding himself still against her, his forehead creased with a frown. Moving slowly and carefully, he lifted his head up, then curled one finger into a hook, used it to pull Alex's hair back from the side of her face, making sure not to actually touch her cheek.

With that obstacle removed, he could see her face in the dim green glow of the alarm clock. Alex's lips were curled in the barest of smiles, her brow smooth and untroubled, and Justin's frown smoothed a little, but not enough to disappear entirely. Without any conscious guidance, his fingers moved back down and stroked his sleeping sister's cheek, gliding across her warm, smooth, soft skin. She shifted against him, and Justin jerked his fingers away as if stung, biting his lower lip as he did.

Her eyes didn't open, though, and after a second, Justin started to relax again - and then stiffened as Alex moved her arm from her side to her front, in the process catching his arm and pulling it against her. Her hand pressed against his and molded to it, and her palm cupped over his knuckles, holding his forearm across her belly. Justin frowned a little, watching Alex's face, but her eyes were still closed, her mouth still had that same slight smile as before.

_Okay, well... I'll give her a few minutes, then pull my arm out once I'm sure she's deep asleep. _Justin took in a deep breath, making himself do it slowly to keep from making noise, then let it out again, just as slowly. _Man, I must be out of it_, he thought then. _Didn't even notice what she was wearing when she came out and insisted that I come sleep in the bed._ Now, though, here in the bed with Alex pressing against him, holding his arm against her stomach, it was quite hard for Justin _not_ to realize that Alex was just in her underwear.

_At least, I hope she's in all of it._ He couldn't actually see now, with the sheets over them, but that was definitely Alex's bare skin against his arm. Justin swallowed, his hand suddenly feeling almost itchy with the urge to move it up, to see if her breasts were bare as well. _Oh, hell hell hell. What the hell is wrong with me? Okay, I need to extract my arm from under hers without waking her up. I can do this._

Closing his eyes, Justin considered the position of Alex's arm over his. The crook of her elbow was pressed against his forearm, her arm wrapping around over his, her hand on his wrist. Her waist was narrow enough that his wrist was touching the mattress, hand folded under her. Laying there and analyzing it, Justin was a bit surprised that it was so comfortable. _Of course it's comfortable. It's Alex._

That thought immediately derailed Justin's thought-train. _Whoa. Where did _that_ come from? _ _Alex is a pain in my neck. A thorn in my side. She's -_

_Warm and soft and smooth and beautiful -_

_No no no no nonononono. This is not how you're supposed to think about your sister. You're not supposed to notice the way she smells like vanilla with just a little hint of womanly musk and -_

Cutting off the thought with an effort, Justin screwed his eyes shut and brought his legs up, unconsciously curling into a fetal position. Alex's legs shifted with his, quite obligingly, and she sighed a little in her sleep, wriggled like a happy puppy settling in for a nap in their favorite person's lap.

At this point, Justin realized two things. The first was that the shifting of positions had brought his hand up onto Alex's breast. Her breast was not bare, but the soft, thin cotton of her bra did nothing to prevent Justin's hand from feeling quite accurately the smoothly rounded shape, nor the way it yielded enticingly to the pressure of his fingers, and especially not the fact that Alex's nipple was firmly erect.

All that, however, was barely impinging on Justin's mind at the moment, because of the second thing that he had noticed. Alex's nipples weren't the only things that were erect. The other erect tissue was, in fact, Justin's own, and was now firmly pressed against Alex's rear.

He froze in place, swallowing, afraid that any movement would either awaken her, or... stimulate him further. _Oh no. I am not making any movement that's going to cause anything to rub. No. No rubber - rubb_ing._ No rubbing at all. I am not moving one iota until this goes back down_, Justin resolved firmly.

Unfortunately, Justin's resolve wasn't the only thing that remained firm. Indeed, the fact that Justin thought this plan had any hope of working in the first place should immediately point that he did not, in fact, have any real experience of such situations. Thus it was that ten minutes later, Justin was uncomfortably discovering that there are erections and there are _erections_, and his was now in the latter category. Further, he was also discovering just how hard it is to remain perfectly still - especially when there's a second person involved in the situation who can also move. Faced with the failure of his mental control, Justin finally determined that he was indeed going to have to move, and risk waking Alex. Having decided that, he gritted his teeth, closed his eyes, then moved to disengage from Alex, doing his best to move at a normal speed - too fast would increase the risk of waking her up, and Justin at the moment had no faith at all that he could actually make himself do it if he tried to do it slowly.

It went surprisingly well, actually. Justin managed to get his arm out from under Alex's arm without her stirring. When he withdrew his other arm from beneath her pillow, she shifted a little, but didn't open her eyes at all. And when Justin rolled away from her, Alex simply rolled onto her back, into the middle of the warm space where they had both been.

Relieved, he stopped for a moment and looked at her from where he was, perched on the edge of the bed. Her face was still and peaceful, her chest rising and falling slowly as she breathed. To get off the bed, Justin had thrown back the cover, and his dark-adjusted eyes could now plainly see that she was indeed in bra and panties as he had suspected. Both were plain cotton and elastic, and he had no idea what color they were supposed to be, seeing them as he was in the green light of the alarm clock.

But that didn't matter at all. Her mouth was open a little, her arms splayed out, and there was nothing coquettish, wanton, seductive, or in any way suggestive about the way Alex was laying there sleeping - and yet still, just she herself, laying there _being_ herself, was beautiful to Justin Russo.

Sitting there on the edge of the bed, looking at Alex and remembering the warmth of her in his arms, Justin felt a little shiver go through him. _It's just chilly in here. Yeah_, he told himself, but he didn't really want to believe it, even as he reached automatically to pull the cover back over Alex, so she wouldn't get cold as well. Turning away from her, he stood up and silently moved out of the bedroom, closing the door silently behind.

...

In the bathroom, the door closed to provide another barrier between Alex and himself, Justin set his hands on either side of the sink, leaned heavily down on it, and sighed. _Well, that was... okay, I don't have words for what that was. And that's saying something._ Lifting his head, Justin took a look at himself in the mirror. _Damn._ He took in the dark circles under his eyes, the stubble along his jawline - _When _did_ I shave last?_ He felt the fuzz with one hand, was surprised to find it long enough to feel soft under his fingertips rather than scratchy.

_Well... I can do something about that. _Justin turned the hot water tap and let it run while he opened the medicine cabinet. Away from Alex now, the rush of adrenalin - and other hormones - was ebbing, and with it, Justin's lack of sleep was catching up with him. He moved mechanically, slowly, as he took out shaving cream and razor. He checked the water with his left hand, adjusted the knobs to get the right temperature, wet his face, then shook the shaving cream can and carefully squeezed out a blob about an inch and a half across. He patted it onto his face, looking in the mirror as he did, then picked up the razor and began to shave, taking careful, overlapping strokes to make sure no hair was missed.

Realizing that he was getting tired, Justin moved with exaggerrated care as he lifted his chin and began to work on his neck, lowering the razor every couple of strokes to rinse it. Justin brought the razor back to his neck and pulled upward, gliding it across the skin carefully -

And then the bathroom door swung open and struck Justin's arm, jarring it sideways. He let out a gasp at the sharp, burning pain, then clutched his throat with his right hand, staring into the mirror as the line of the cut began to bleed.

"Justin? What are you - oh my God!" Alex stepped fully into the little bathroom, pressing against Justin for a moment to do so, since he was too stunned to move out of her way. "Okay, I know you've got that whole obsessive-convulsive thing going on, " she said as pulled the toilet paper roll so it spun and ripped off a couple of feet of tissue, "but seriously - deciding you need to shave at four in the morning? That's getting out there even for you."

Alex moved to press the tissue against the cut, but Justin stepped back, holding up a hand. "No - I - you don't need to worry about this, Alex, go back to sleep..." He reached for the tissue, but Alex pulled it back, holding it up and back like it was one of his action figures she'd taken.

"Yeah, like I'm gonna be able to get to sleep, listening to you squeal like a little girl in here while you try to take care of this yourself. Just let me do it, already." Justin frowned at her, and the two of them looked at each other for a moment.

"It needs to be washed, and disinfected, and -"

"- and I've seen Mom take care of enough cuts on you and Max to know what to do," Alex answered with a roll of her eyes. "It's not like it's any more complicated than changing a baby, and I've been doing that just fine, right?" She stepped forward with the tissue again, reaching up to Justin's neck, and with the wall to his back, he twisted his face to the side, pulling his neck away from her hand.

"Okay, what?" Alex snapped out then, suddenly feeling angry. "Justin, we're not kids any more. I'm trying to _help_ you, really. Now, I've gotta admit that part of me was looking forward to hearing you when I put the rubbing alcohol on that, this whole flinching away from me thing is getting old fast. Now, get over whatever the hell your problem is and _stand still_. Got it?"

"I -" Justin stopped, his mouth open, shut it, tried again. "I'm sorry. You're right. I just..." He trailed off then, looking at Alex's face as she began to work on his neck, her eyes fixed there as she wiped away the blood-tinged shaving cream.

"Damn, you got yourself pretty good with that," she said then, and _that_ was the Alex he knew, completely ignoring her own role in having caused the cut.

"It'll probably heal quickly," he said. "Razor cuts usually do." Alex turned around and flipped open the medicine cabinet with her wrist, and Justin let out an automatic, "First aid kit is under the sink," before she could actually get the question out. She stooped and opened the cabinet door, and Justin kept talking, for no reason that he could fathom in his sleep-deprived state.

"I don't know what I was thinking, really. I just came in here, and I saw myself in the mirror, and..." He shook his head slowly as Alex tore open a disinfectant wipe. "I must not have shaved for most of a week. How did I do that? It's... I'm slipping, and I'm not even realizing it. I - ahh_hh_hh!"

That last came out as Alex gripped his chin with one hand and swiped across the cut with he disinfectant wipe with the other. Try as she might, Alex couldn't help but grin a little at it, but she managed to keep herself from actually saying anything, and after a moment, Justin started speaking again, words tumbling out in fits and starts.

"I... I feel lost. I had a plan, how everything was supposed to go, and this wasn't it. I mean... I don't regret keeping Ricky, but... I don't know how this works now. I don't know how I support us and keep going to school. The sub shop isn't doing well enough for Mom and Dad to pay the rent here for me, and..." Suddenly, Justin clamped his mouth shut, shook his head. "I shouldn't be unloading this on you. I'm sorry. I -"

"Hey, hey -" Alex quickly finished with the tape she was putting on Justin's neck, then set the roll aside and stepped up against him, put her arms around him and hugged tightly. "It's okay. You're just overtired. Everything looks worse than it is. And of _course _you should unload on me. I'm here to help you with this whole thing, remember? Quit thinking like you have to do this all by yourself. I'll get some kind of part-time job, and we'll pay the rent _together_. Okay?"

Justin stiffened when her arms first went around him, but he kept himself from pulling away, and, as Alex kept holding onto him, let himself put his arms around her in return. _Oh, she feels so good. And I am such a horrible, horrible brother._ "Okay," he managed, staring down at the bloody mess in the sink.

"Good," Alex replied, then gave him a squeeze. "Now, you go get back in bed. I'll finish cleaning this up."

"Oh, umm..." Justin searched his mind frantically for some plausible reason that he shouldn't come back to bed with Alex that wasn't the _real_ reason, but his sleep-deprived brain wasn't helping at all, and before he could get anything out, Alex had made her own presumptions and was giving him a push toward the door.

"It'll only take a minute, and there's hardly room in here for two people as it is, unless you want to stand in the tub. Go on."

With a nod, Justin stumbled out of the bathroom, then went back into the bedroom. Rather than go straight to the bed, though, he checked on Ricky, sitting down on the floor beside the baby basket. Ricky was starting to squirm, so Justin quickly checked his diaper, already reaching to drag the diaper bag over. As he'd expected, Ricky was wet, and Justin changed him, hands going through the by now familiar motions easily, if a little clumsily.

Alex came back in while he was doing that, came over and squatted beside him. "Think I should get a bottle ready too?"

"Yeah," Justin replied, making a little bit of a face as Ricky's eyes opened. "If we get him fed right away, he may just go back to sleep." _At least, I hope he will._

Nodding to that, Alex got up and headed to the kitchen, walking quickly. Justin couldn't help but throw a glance after her, but then flushed and looked back down at what he was doing. _Concentrate on what's in Ricky's used diaper. That should keep you from getting horny._

He was done before Alex, so he picked up Ricky and rocked him, gave him a quick smile. "We'll have a bottle for you in just a sec, little guy. Don't worry." He didn't know if talking to Ricky was actually helping or not, but he wasn't crying yet, and it didn't seem like it could hurt, so...

In the kitchen, Alex was putting the bottle of formula into the hot water she'd been running when she heard Justin start talking to Ricky. She smiled a little at the tone of Justin's voice, the same tone he'd use if he was calming her down. _He's going to be all right. Don't know what got into him just now, but it doesn't matter. We'll get through this._

"Don't you worry about anything," she heard Justin say softly in the bedroom, as if to confirm what she'd just thought. "We're going to take care of you. You're ours, and we love you."

Alex jerked in surprise and turned to look over her shoulder toward the bedroom, shocked by what she'd just heard. _Ours. Justin thinks of Ricky as being _ours.

Her eyes misting up, Alex turned back to the bottle warming in the sink, feeling a giddy smile spreading slowly across her face. "Damn straight we're going to take care of him," she muttered, nodding to herself as she wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. "The two of us are gonna raise the _crap_ outta that kid!

...

Author's Note: Thanks to savevsmagic for beta-ing this. The ending was a good bit more clumsy before he touched it!

I'm not normally one to ask for reviews, but... they'd be appreciated right now. Thanks!


	7. Chapter 9

you stir my natural emotions

you make me feel I'm dirt

and I'm hurt

and if I start a commotion

I run the risk of losing you

and that's worse

- ever fallen in love with someone (you shouldn't've), by the buzzcocks

...

The door banged open loudly enough to make Justin wince, and between that and the sound of Alex's purse hitting the wall before dropping onto the entry table, he knew that she'd had another bad day.

"Is _no one_ in this whole _city_ hiring?!" she half-yelled, and as she did, he was already on his feet, carrying a squirming Ricky in the crook of his arm as he moved toward Alex. "You'd think that with seven freaking _years_ of experience, I could get a damn minimum-wage job as a server somewhere, but _no!" _She threw her coat at the rack, ignoring it as it missed and fell to the ground._ "_What the _hell_ does it _take _to -"

She cut off then, as Justin put an arm around her and hugged her tightly against his left side, since Ricky was cradled in his other arm. "Hey, hey - it's okay. It hasn't even been two weeks yet. It just takes time."

"Easy for you to say. You've _got_ a job," Alex said, but there was only a little heat in it, and she was much quieter now, looking at Ricky as she spoke. He was still squirming a little, but his expression wasn't the uncomfortable look he got when he needed to be changed. Bringing a finger up to his cheek, Alex brushed against it, then nodded as Ricky turned his head, trying to get it with his mouth.

"I've already got a bottle warming up," Justin said even before Alex asked.

"I can take him to feed him. It'll be nice to feel like I'm getting something accomplished after today."

Letting Alex go, Justin took a step back. "Sure. But go change - don't want to get spit up on your, umm..." He gestured up and down at Alex, and she looked down. She'd put on a good white blouse, with a pearl choker and a narrow black skirt, figuring that as with so many other things, the best way to get a job was to look like you didn't need one... and that a little sex appeal couldn't hurt. Restaurants liked to have a good-looking staff, since it helped get people to come back.

The last couple of managers had been male, and Alex had decided to step it up a little, and... "What? Too embarrassed to say 'cleavage'?" She grinned a little as Justin pinked.

"That - that is not what I was going to say. I -"

"Oh? What, then? Tits?" Pink started to turn to red, and Alex's grin grew. "No? Knockers? No, that's not your kind of -"

Gritting his teeth, Justin got out a "B-", but Alex wasn't letting him get the chance to finish it.

"Breasts? Yeah, that's more -"

"_Blouse_," Justin interrupted loudly. "Now, are you done embarrassing me?"

Alex tilted her head to the side, frowning and tapping her chin as if considering. "I don't know - I've barely gotten started on words for them..." As she said that, she reached down with her left hand and cupped her breast, pushing it in and up a little as she watched her brother in her peripheral vision.

His eye naturally drawn to the motion, Justin looked - and turned a red that was starting to approach purple. "I - I - You can do what you want. I'm going to get the bottle ready." He turned then, moving much more quickly than was needed, and half-fled into the kitchen area.

...

Justin gave a small sigh of relief as he heard the bedroom door close behind Alex. _Well, at least that seems to have cheered her up. I may not have any dignity left intact, but..._ He quirked a smile. After all, it wasn't as if Alex had ever really respected his dignity in the first place. In point of fact, he'd expected a lot more teasing than he'd gotten, living with her in such close quarters as this.

She hadn't teased him quite this way in a long time, though - not since they were both still newly pubescent, and Alex discovered the reaction she could get by leaving a bra or panties out in their shared bathroom, where Justin would have to deal with them. He'd talked to their mom - under the guise of 'I'm tired of putting Alex's clothes in the laundry hamper for her' - and she was ordered to stop.

Of course, anyone who knew anything about Alex should have known that it wasn't going to stop there. Sure, a couple of weeks and the intervention of their father had gotten Alex to stop leaving clothes around, but Alex simply escalated. Banned from leaving underwear in the bathroom, Alex had next put a box of tampons next to the toothbrush holder, where Justin would have to reach over it every day.

That got Alex another little chat with their mom, and the tampons went back into the cabinet. But that wasn't the end of it. Determined to get a rise out of Justin, Alex had started writing him love notes and putting them in his locker. When Justin took that as a mystery to be solved rather than an embarrassment, she got one of the lunch ladies to put the note into his locker when she knew he'd be staking it out. His reaction to that and subsequent actions were much more entertaining, but that too was eventually found out.

For the next few months, it seemed that Alex had abandoned her attempts to trigger Justin's embarrassment about girls - but her next step was a doozy. Instead of her usual pajamas, Alex began wearing, well... _less _into their shared bathroom in the morning. First it was a sleep shirt (and presumably panties, although Justin would have to admit that he had no direct visual confirmation of that). When that didn't get the desired reaction, the next step was a tight baby-doll t-shirt and panties.

She did get a reaction from that, but after the first morning of that, Justin simply kept his eyes up as much as he could. So another escalation was triggered. That day, Alex came into the bathroom while Justin was brushing his teeth. He didn't look toward her at all, expecting her to again be dressed skimpily, but Alex nudged him aside, heading past him, and as she passed behind him, he caught a look at her in the mirror - and almost let out a sigh of relief at the sight of her old fuzzy sea-foam green robe. (And if that relief was tinged with a bit of disappointment, well... Justin would thoroughly deny that, so never mind.)

Justin continued brushing for another twenty seconds or so before he realized that Alex had not yet grabbed her toothbrush and elbowed him aside to brush her own teeth for a cursory thirty seconds or so. (Justin, of course, counted time to himself in order to be sure he was brushing for at least the ADA-recommended two minutes.) He looked over to his left, curious - and then froze in shock. Alex had opened her robe, and was standing there with one foot on the toilet, slowly gliding a razor up her leg, following the clearly displayed curve of her gastrocnemius muscle.

As Justin's toothbrush slipped from his fingers and fell into the sink, completely ignored, his eyes opened wide, staring as Alex turned her leg to the side and stroked the razor across the outside of her thigh, in a motion that brought it all the way up to the edge of her gluteus. He could quite clearly tell that, since Alex was wearing absolutely nothing underneath the gaping robe.

He never was sure how long he stood there, watching her shave her leg. It couldn't have been more than a few seconds, but it felt like an... well, honestly, the only term that seemed to fit was _eon_. Normally, Justin would never have used such a term, imprecise as it was, but that very quality suited it perfectly to the nigh-eternity it seemed to take before Alex stopped in her motions, turned her head to look at Justin, then gave him a sweetly innocent smile that in no possible way matched the situation. And then she lowered the leg that was nearest to Justin, finished with it, and began to raise the other, bringing into view her -

Before the thought could even fully form, Justin was out of the bathroom, into the hall, and safely in his own room, door closed firmly behind, with him leaning against it as if Alex might try to break it down behind him. About ten seconds later, as the shock started to wear off, Justin realized that he hadn't even rinsed the toothpaste foam out of his mouth, and it was now dripping down his chin and onto his shirt.

The next day, he'd gone to the bathroom deeply dreading that Alex was going to repeat the previous day's performance - but she hadn't, apparently satisfied that she'd shown that she could shock him at will, and he'd left the bathroom that morning with an odd mix of relief and disappoint-

"Hey." The sound - and an accompanying touch on his shoulder - interrupted Justin's reverie, and he looked automatically at its source. Alex was looking at him curiously, head tilted to the side. "You need sleep - you're really out of it. Said your name three times there."

Alex said that, but Justin hardly heard her. Instead, he was staring at her robe - the same old robe of his memory. _Is she _- his brain started, but Justin cut off the thought with a will and focused on her face. "What? Oh, no - I'm not tired. Just - thinking."

"Sure," Alex answered with a smile, then moved closer and slipped her hand across Justin's arm. It took him a moment to realize that she was taking Ricky out of his arms, and then to help her with the transfer. It seemed that during his reminisces, he had managed to finish readying the bottle and begin feeding Ricky, acting purely on autopilot.

"Hi, cutie. Did you have a good day here with Daddy? Hmm?" Alex smiled brightly at Ricky as she spoke to him, and his eyes moved to hers.

_I wish she'd look at me like that._ Justin blinked at the thought, surprised by it, then scowled _Dammit... what the hell is wrong with you, Justin?_ Aloud, he said, "I... I'll be back in a minute."

"Okay," Alex replied, not even looking at him, and Justin felt another pang as he watched her cross their tiny living room to sit down on the couch with Ricky, cradling him in her left arm as she held his bottle with her right hand. Before she turned around all the way - before she could look up and see his expression - Justin retreated into the bedroom.

Closing the door behind him, Justin turned and leaned back against it for a moment. _All right. Get yourself under control. _Taking a deep breath, he shut his eyes for a moment, then slowly let the breath out. _Relax. Feel the tension drain away. You are calm. You are in control of yourself._

He breathed in again, let it out as before, repeated the process a third time.

...

It was only a few minutes later that Justin came back out into the living room. Alex had firmly ensconced herself at one end of the old orange couch, her legs across it. The hem of her robe was up around her thighs, and she was dividing her attention between some reality show on TV - Justin was quite proud of not knowing which of those shows was which - and Ricky, who was quite happily gulping away at his bottle.

They still hadn't gotten another chair yet, and Justin sighed under his breath, then crossed to the couch and sat down on the floor in front of it, at end farther from Alex. She looked up at that, then frowned. He had some big book open in his lap - some textbook or other, of course, she was sure - sitting there cross-legged and hunched over, which was completely unlike him.

So Alex kicked him in the back of the head. Not really hard, of course - just hard enough to make certain that he knew she was doing it deliberately.

"Ah!" Scowling, Justin rubbed the back of his head - and hunched down even more.

_What the Hell? _Frowning a little, Alex waited for a silent count of three, and then kicked Justin again. "Okay, enough with the moping act. It doesn't work well on you. What's wrong, dork?"

"Nothing," he replied without looking at her. Alex sighed and kicked him again, a little harder.

"Not buying it. Now, you can tell me what's wrong, or I can keep kicking the back of your head all night." She grinned a little. "Really, either one works for me."

"I've got a big test tomorrow. I'm just trying to study for it right now." He still didn't look at Alex, hoping that she'd believe that was all he was bothered about. It was true, as far as it went, but he wasn't _that_ worried - he was carrying an A in the class right now, and there were two midterms and a final, so even if he completely blew this midterm he'd still be able to recover.

"Yeah? What's it in?"

Justin scowled a little, flipping the page in the book and picking up his notes as he answered. "Principles of molecular cell biology and biotechnology."

Alex blinked at that. "Should you be taking that your second year? It sounds a little advanced."

"I'm taking it right when I should be taking it, according to the guidebook. Now, can you let me study?"

"Sure." Alex sat back into the corner of the couch and returned her attention to Ricky, only to find his head lolled back, mouth open, eyes closed. She smiled at the small sleeping form, set the bottle aside, then shifted him down a little, not feeling ready to put him down quite yet.

For about twenty seconds, she watched TV in silence as Justin studied.

"You know, you don't have to sit on the floor. There's plenty of room." She pulled her feet back a little, making extra room for him to come up, but Justin simply sat where he was as if he hadn't heard her.

_My brother the martyr_. Alex rolled her eyes and sighed long-sufferingly, then smacked the back of Justin's head with her foot again. She expected him to whirl and ask her why she was doing that, had already prepared a retort to cut him off with - but he didn't. Justin's shoulders tensed visibly instead, and then he lowered his head, shoulders staying tensed up as if expecting the next kick.

Watching him like that, obviously expecting her to kick him again, but trying to ignore it, his face showing a look of intense concentration that she recognized as his worried face. And then, Alex Russo felt something that she almost never did. A feeling that many people who knew her would have denied that she was even capable of feeling: guilt.

Sucking in her lower lip, Alex chewed on it for a moment, then nodded to herself. Sitting up, she hooked Ricky's bassinet with her heel, pulled it over, then gently lowered the sleeping baby. Once he was in it, she draped his blankie over him, tucked it into place, then bent down for a moment to kiss his forehead. With that taken care of, she slid over on the couch, put a foot on each side of Justin, then laid her hands on his shoulders.

He stiffened up, and Alex spoke quietly. "You just keep working, and try to relax a little." She began to knead his shoulders, working slowly, frowning at the tension she could feel there. For a moment, Justin stayed stiff and unmoving, and she spoke again. "It's not a joke or a trick, okay? I'm..." She paused a moment, hesitating, then plunged forward, speaking quickly. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to be mean or anything, it's - it's just the way I'm used to being with you. I want to help. Just tell me how."

She kept kneading, moving up to his neck, biting her lip again at Justin's lack of response. As she opened her mouth to say something again, he finally spoke. "I know you're trying. And you are helping. A lot." Justin raised one of his hands, placed it on hers, gave a gentle squeeze, and then it was Alex who stiffened at the sudden, unexpected feeling of warmth where he touched her, at the way her skin felt almost as if it was tingling. "Thank you. Really. And... keep doing that, please. It feels really good."

Alex blinked. She hadn't even realized that she'd stopped, and she felt a bit of a blush rise up as she started to knead his neck again. A second passed, then another. "Take off your shirt," she heard herself saying, lifting her hands from him to let him. To her surprise, he did, shrugging out of the old Tears of Blood tee he was wearing with a quick, smooth motion.

_Oh, wow. _Suddenly Alex was very, very glad that Justin was facing away from her as she felt herself flushing deeply, looking at his back and shoulders. _How did I never notice that before?_ They looked to her like something that should be in a museum, some Greek artist's vision of heroic perfection chiseled out of marble, somehow come to life. Her hands hovered an inch or so above his skin, and she swallowed, hesitating - and then Justin started to turn.

She laid her hands on him immediately and began to knead the muscles (those wonderfully chiseled muscles) again, almost sighing as she did. Alex told herself the sigh was simply relief that he hadn't finished turning his head, hadn't seen her blush, but even as she did, she knew it was a lie.

Her hands moved from the peaks of his shoulders up to his neck, back down, then up again, kneading and stroking, and then she moved them down the middle of his back, rubbing her thumbs in slow circles on his spine as her fingers soothed the taut muscles to each side. At some point, he'd laid the textbook aside and leaned forward, giving her more room to work, but even with that, leaning down from the couch like this was uncomfortable, and Alex moved a hand farther down, then pushed gently forward.

Justin scooted forward in response, without a word, and Alex slipped off the couch and into the space behind him, then began to work on his back again, swaying back and forward a little as she did. Her hands once again were tingling, and she tried to swallow with a mouth suddenly gone dry as she realized that wasn't all that was tingling.

Moving a hand to his shoulder, she pressed to the right and down, and again Justin responded without any need for words between them, turning and laying down on his front. As he moved, Alex did as well, lifting her left leg to straddle him, settling herself across the small of his back and leaning forward, hands again on his shoulders.

As her hands kneaded his back, she could feel the tension going out of him, but it felt like it was flowing into her, settling in her thighs and between them. Her hips were rocking of their own accord as she moved back and forth on him, and Alex had to hold her breath then as a wave of tingles ascended her spine, holding back the moan that surely would have had Justin turning over and asking her what was wrong.

The feeling seemed to last for minutes, and when it passed, Alex opened her eyes to realize that at some point she had simply laid down across Justin's back, and her face was buried in his hair. She stiffened up, blushing again at the feeling of Justin moving under her, and then sagged in relief as she realized that it was only the rise and fall of his slow, steady breathing.

Her hair had fallen across his face, and her scalp tickled and tingled as his breath disturbed it. _He must've really been holding in a lot of tension, to fall asleep like that. And I must've been…._ _Yeah. Wow. Good thing he did fall asleep, because if I'd done that on him with him awake, he'd be freaking out right now._

...

As Alex lay on his back, a warm and very pleasant weight, Justin kept his eyes closed and breathed slowly even as his mind raced. _Do not do not _do not_ give any indication that you are not asleep. I don't care how much you want to roll over right now and_ - he cut the thought off with a will.

On his back, Alex shifted a little. After a few moments, her breathing changed, and Justin relaxed a little, realizing she was asleep now.

_She didn't do what you think she just did. This is just your perverted mind trying to paint things the way it wishes they were. Look at this logically. You're a normal, healthy male, and you haven't had sex in months, and Alex is a very attractive girl. It's only natural that she... arouses you. What you need to do is find some other outlet for your arousal, before you do anything stupid._

_..._

__**Author's Notes:**

****I'm without a beta at the moment, so please forgive any typos, and let me know if you spot any more serious grammatical problems, so I can fix them. And if anyone is interested in beta-ing for me, please let me know!

-T


	8. Chapter 10

tonight you told me

that you ache for something new

and some other woman is lookin' like something

that might be good for you

go on and hold her 'til the screaming is gone

go on believe her when she tell you nothing's wrong

but I'm the only one

who'll walk across the fire for you

I'm the only one

who'll drown in my desire for you

- Melissa Etheridge, "I'm the Only One"

...

Red. The world was a bright, bright red. Alex tried to close her eyes, only to realize that they were _already_ closed. This surprised her enough that she opened them - and then immediately regretted having done that, as the sunlight streaming through the bedroom window and onto her face went right into them.

"Aaaahhhhhh..." Shading her eyes, she stood up out of the bed, stepped over to the window, and drew the curtain quickly across it. That dimmed the light to a tolerable level - which, unfortunately, was a much lower level than she had just been exposed to, and Alex found herself blinking in what, to her dazzled eyes, seemed a completely dark room.

_I don't remember going to bed. Last thing I remember is falling asleep on top of Justin, and..._

Now, there are some who would say that Alex Russo has no shame. This list actually includes some of her friends and family. These people would have been startled by the bright red flush that came to her cheeks as she recalled exactly what she had done on top of her brother before falling asleep the previous evening. _Oh. Oh, God. _She put a hand to her forehead and rubbed, realizing between her memory and the degree to which the morning sunlight had pained her that the few drinks she'd decided to have before she'd come home to console herself over her continued failure to find a part-time job had affected her more than she'd thought.

She opened the bedroom door, stepped out, and held her left hand up to shield her eyes from the glare coming through the picture window at the end of the living area as she ducked into the bathroom and closed the door - to keep out that same glare, since Justin would be long gone to take the exam he'd been studying for the night before.

Shading her eyes again, she flicked on the light, then slowly lifted her hand away and looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was a mess, but she otherwise didn't look any worse for wear - no bloodshot eyes, no puffiness, and, of course, the old yellow robe wasn't anything she could mess up by sleeping in...

Alex stopped and looked at the robe in the mirror. She didn't ever wear that robe to sleep in. Ever. Which meant that she hadn't gotten to bed on her own. That Justin must have carried her into the bedroom and... and Alex bit her lip at the pulse that she felt between her legs from the thought. _I'm surprised he didn't take this off me and dress me in pajamas, _she thought with a little smirk. _Wouldn't he have been surprised at what I wasn't wearing underneath._

As she was thinking this, Alex moved over to the bathtub and turned the water on, twisting the knob a little to the right as she did - Justin seemed to like his showers a bit hotter than she did. Something about hotter water being better for killing germs, although she suspected it was really just that he couldn't let himself do something that was purely enjoyable. That brought forth a sigh as she shrugged out of the robe and hung it from the end of the towel bar. _He really needs to relax and take a night off. A weekend would be better, but there's no way I'm getting him to do that until the semester break. _She put her foot under the spigot, found the water temperature good, pulled the shower curtain closed, then reached in at the side and turned the shower on. _I should surprise him. Cook him something nice this weekend, give him another backrub. Maybe take him out somewhere. I'm sure Boston's got to have a comic store._

The water having run for a few seconds, Alex stepped into the shower and closed her eyes, letting it cascade over her in warm sheets, soaking in the feeling of it. _Can't do that until this weekend, though. He was stressing like hell over that exam this morning. Wonder how it went. What time is it anyway? _It couldn't be too late, she realized - the sun had been coming in the windows, so it was still morning. Probably no later than ten. _I can go to campus and meet him for lunch, make him do something besides study for a few minutes. And some of his professors wanted to see Ricky anyway. Yeah..._

As it turned out, Alex's shower was interrupted after about three minutes by Ricky, who decided just then that he needed to be changed. And then fed. And then just held for a few minutes. After accomplishing all of this, Alex was finally able to finish washing her hair - a somewhat extended process, with the volume that she had. Looking in the mirror after finishing up, though, she thought the effect was definitely worth it. _I look like I should be in a commercial. Something talking about vitamins and oils and stuff. _She smiled a little, not thinking at all about how much she knew Justin loved soft, shiny hair as she held up a few different hair decorations one by one to see how they went with her outfit.

...

It was 11:27, and Justin was impatiently waiting for his World History class to end. Professor Li was reminding the class about the paper that was due on Friday, but Justin wasn't really listening to that. Neither did his tension have anything to do with getting to his next class, since it wasn't for two hours. The object of his attention was, in fact, nothing to do with academics at all.

Rather, it was a girl. Her name was Rebecca Ingram, she went by Becky, had beautiful dark brown hair and brown eyes, and she sat two seats in front of him and three to the left. He'd heard her the other day, talking to her friend Srina about having broken up with her boyfriend, and bemoaning the apparent lack of available guys who weren't assholes who just wanted one thing. Well, Justin was a guy, and was available, and while he certainly _was_ wanting that particular thing, it wasn't _all _he wanted. _And I'm pretty sure I'm not an asshole,_ he thought with a bit of a smile.

And then people were standing up, and Justin blinked as he realized that he'd somehow managed to miss the end of what Professor Li was saying. Becky was already moving toward the door, and Justin hurriedly stood up, lifting his backpack by one strap and slinging it onto his shoulder, already in motion as it smacked into his back.

He threaded past a couple of slower-moving classmates and got through the door only a couple of moments after Alice. A moment later, he caught up with her in the hall and managed to touch her on the shoulder. "Becky. Have you got a moment?"

She stopped and turned, then looked up at Justin with her brown eyes and smiled. "Sure. What's up?"

Even with her smiling at him - okay, _especially _with her smiling at him, Justin stammered a little. "Well, uh... I was just wondering if you'd like to do something non-class-related with me at some point. A movie, coffee, dinner...?" He trailed off, feeling extremely awkward, but somehow she was still smiling at him, and even nodding.

"That'd be -" she started, and then broke off suddenly, her eyes moving to something behind Justin.

"There you are!" He turned in surprise at Alex's voice, and then blinked as he took her in, an involuntary _Wow_ going through his mind. She was wearing a white dress with small blue flowers on it, with slightly poofy shoulders and a skirt that stood out in folds, coming down to just above her knees. White stockings were under that, and even a single white feather in her hair. "I thought Ricky might like to have lunch with Daddy," Alex was continuing. "And I know _I _would." She stopped next to Justin, standing about as close as she possibly could without actually leaning against him, her head tilted just a little to the side and a slight smile on her face as she looked at him.

He was still trying to process this when Alex turned her attention to Becky. "Hi," she said, shifting Ricky a little to free her right hand, then pushing the diaper bag that was on that shoulder back with her elbow before extending the hand to the other girl. "I'm Alex Russo. It's nice to meet you."

Becky didn't take the offered hand. She didn't speak. She simply looked at Alex for about half a second, her eyes a shade wider than normal, her mouth open. Suddenly realizing what she must be thinking, Justin opened his mouth, trying to say something, _anything_, to let her know that the conclusion she must be reaching was not true. "Um, uh. You -"

And that was as far as he got. Becky turned her gaze on him, swiveling her head so quickly you could practically hear a _snap_, and Justin got the fleeting impression of a look of fury on her face, and the next thing he knew, he was on the floor curling up around the throbbing stream of pain that was radiating from the space between his thighs. His mouth was still gamely attempting to explain things, although the only audible result was a very quite sound that would have to be spelled something like 'aaaiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiii'.

A few minutes later, once Justin was able to stand, make coherent speech, and walk, Alex was shepherding him into the women's bathroom, having first gone inside and made sure it was empty. He walked awkwardly over to the counter that held the bathroom's three sinks, then leaned forward and placed both hands flat on it, arms stiff to support his weight as he bent his head down and let out a low _ohhh_ sound.

Alex watched him out of the corner of her eye as she unslung the diaper bag, unzipped it with one hand, pulled out a cream-colored blankie decorated with little cartoon ducks, then laid Ricky carefully onto it.

Standing back up, she turned and looked at Justin in the mirror. "Okay, pants down. Let's see how bad the damage is."

Justin's head jerked back upright and he looked back at her in the mirror. "What?"

"You heard me, mister," she said, adopting the same tone their mother used when she was not going to take any arguments. "Unless you're a whole lot more flexible than I think you are, there's no way you can get a good look at everything. So drop your pants and turn around."

In the mirror, Justin's expression had become a disbelieving stare. "Uh..." He grimaced, then shook his head, continuing in strained tones. "Alex, I - _ahhh_ - really don't -"

Stepping forward, Alex put her right hand on his upper arm. "Stop. Listen to yourself. You can't even get half a sentence out. So quit arguing about it. Besides, Ricky isn't going to tolerate being set down while he's awake for long, so we need to hurry this up."

She applied pressure, pulling on his arm to get him to turn around, and Justin followed even as he continued to argue. "But - _aiii_ - " Alex pushed firmly against his chest, and he had to lean back against the counter, his eyes closing in pain as he did.

It took only a moment for Alex to undo Justin's belt, unbutton and unzip his pants, and then pull down. Automatically, Justin moved a hand in front of his crotch, even covered as it was in his boxers, and Alex rolled her eyes again and moved it back out of the way. "Look. I'm opening Ricky's diaper and cleaning his thing practically a dozen times a day. It's not like you're showing me anything I haven't seen before."

Even as she said that, she squatted down in front of him, put her hands on the waistband of his boxers, and pulled down. Justin gritted his teeth and tilted his head back, locking his eyes onto the ceiling, doing his best to _not_ see Alex down in front of him like that. _Well, she's seen it now. Can't exactly make her unsee it,_ he thought. _And she's right. It does need to be looked at, and the medical center is halfway across campus. We can't exactly ask some random stranger to check me out. So just grit your teeth and try not to look at her or think of anything -_

And then Justin jumped a little as his train of thought completely derailed. "What are you doing?!" he got out, although it was very fast and somewhat squeaky, more along the lines of "WatreyudoING?"

"I need to make sure your equipment didn't get crushed. I can't exactly do that without touching anything."

Justin's eyes were wide now, his face reddening quickly, and it felt like his heart was hammering at about four hundred beats per second. He put his hands on the counter to either side of him, suddenly afraid that his knees might buckle, and tried as hard as he could to think of things that were not sexy at all. _Baseball. They always say to think about baseball._ Unfortunately, for Justin, the thought of baseball immediately brought to mind Kari Snodgrass, the baseball-crazy blonde he'd briefly tried to date in high school. The extremely _cute_ baseball-crazy blonde, and -

And then there was a gasp and a shocked _Oh_ of surprise, and Justin pulled his gaze from the ceiling to see two girls, one of whom had her eyes wide open and her hand to her mouth, while the other was smirking. Then he looked down, to see that Alex had not noticed at all, and was still inspecting him, her head close to his crotch, and in such a position that from the two girls' vantage -

"This, uh - _ahhh_ - this isn't what it -_ aiiiii_ -"

The one girl's smirk grew. "Oh, well, in _that_ case -"

At this point Alex, realizing someone else was now there, pulled back a little and turned her head to look as well. She blushed hotly (which would have surprised Justin, had he been in a position to see it), and then said the first thing that came into her head. Unfortunately, that was "It's okay - we have a baby!" As she said this, she gestured toward Ricky, who chose that moment to begin fussing.

The smirking girl broke out into actual laughter at that. "I get it! You're doing _this_ so you don't have _another_, huh?!"

"Yasondra!" the more embarrassed of the pair let out in a completely scandalized tone. She was also grabbing the laughing girl's arm at this point, trying to drag her backwards while casting an oddly apologetic look at Justin and Alex. The two of them disappeared around the corner, and Alex sat looking that way for a moment, and then brought a hand up and clapped it hard onto her mouth. Her body started to shake a little, and Justin rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Go ahead, laugh. We both know you want to," he said, reaching down and tucking himself in, then zipping up his pants hurriedly - though not without a slight wince. Alex shook her head, keeping her hand on her mouth for another couple of seconds, while Justin moved over to Ricky with exaggerated care, then picked him up.

Before he even had Ricky lifted all the way up, though, Alex was there. "You're hurt. I'll get him. You just... I guess go outside and wait. We'll be out in just a minute."

"Oh...kay." Justin gave Alex a curious look, which she didn't notice, as she was checking Ricky's diaper. "Uh... I take it things felt okay?"

"Hmm?" Alex looked up at Justin, but too late to catch the look he'd been giving her. "Oh, right. Yeah, it all felt good." She blushed slightly immediately after saying that, surprising Justin. "I mean, your equipment is good - uh..."

"I get it," Justin replied, suppressing a smile at actually seeing Alex a little flustered. "I'll see you in a minute."

The two girls from before were nowhere in evidence, a fact for which Justin was quite grateful. He tried to squat down to sit on the floor, then stopped with a gasp as the motion tightened his jeans on his crotch. Slowly, he stood back up all the way, then turned and leaned against the wall, taking a few slow, deep breaths here where Alex wasn't watching.

_Well, that went great. Is there any _other _way today can get screwed up? That's just a rhetorical question, God. You don't have to show me that there is. _The throbbing pain was slowly receding and, after checking to make sure no one was in the hallway, Justin took a moment to do his own inspection. Touching things was painful, but it did indeed seem that nothing was actually ruptured or crushed, just bruised. Well, nothing was crushed except his hopes of getting Becky to go out with him. _Doubt she'll even let me try to explain, after that. And I wouldn't be surprised if she tells other girls all about how I was hitting on her when I'm married and have a baby. Crap._

He squeezed the bridge of his nose, then massaged it lightly. He'd have to find some other way to get a date. And soon. Even in pain as he was, he'd felt things stirring a bit when Alex had touched him, and... And _that _was a thought that Justin was not going to continue with. He let out a slow sigh just as she emerged from the bathroom, carrying a calmed Ricky.

"So, what was that about anyway? I mean, I can understand someone enjoying inflicting pain on you, but that's kind of a more personal way to go about it." Alex took his right hand in her left as she spoke and started down the hallway, Justin following automatically.

"It - " Justin felt a sudden surge of anger, fueled by pain and disappointment, and he stopped, pulling his hand out of Alex's. "Gee, I don't know. I had just asked her out," he ground out, "when _someone_ walked up carrying my son and introducing herself with the same last name as mine. It's only a _guess_, but I think she might have gotten the impression that that person was my _wife_."

Alex's eyes opened wide, and her hand went up to her mouth. "_Oh. _Oh, wow. So she thought you were married with a new baby, and hitting on her... she must think you're total slime."

"You think so? I don't know Alex, maybe you should go find her and ask her. I mean, maybe she just _accidentally_ kneed me and stormed off. Or, you know, maybe she spotted a mosquito on my pants, killed it, and then had to immediately run off. We could go back down to the the room and see if maybe she's come _back _to explain how it's all just a misunderstanding."

The first thing that popped into Alex's head was '_Well, sure, if that's what you want to do. You're the one on a schedule, after all.'_ But she saw the look on Justin's face, the anger and frustration there, and Alex Russo bit her tongue for a moment, swallowed the impulse and instead stepped forward and put her left arm around him, hugging him as well as she could with Ricky in her other arm. "I'm so sorry. Justin... I..."

_I didn't mean to do that_ was what Alex wanted to say. But she realized then that she _had_ meant to. She'd come into the hallway, seen Justin talking to that girl, heard him ask her out. _And I was jealous. I was jealous of her, because - _

"I'm sorry," she said again, trying to gain time, and then she swallowed hard and turned her head away from Justin, squeezing her eyes hard shut. "If... if you want, I'll go find her and explain. I'm sure once she knows I'm not your wife, she'll..." She stopped then, forced to by the sudden lump in her throat. _How the hell am I going to do that? Especially hauling Ricky around with me? I guess I'll have to -_

"No. No, you don't have to do that. I'm sorry I snapped at you. I..." He shook his head. "I shouldn't be worrying about this anyway. It's not like I've got time to go on dates right now, with Ricky and school and work. Just let it go."

Alex opened her eyes, surprised, then turned to look at Justin again. "Are you sure? I really will -"

"I'm sure," Justin answered, and gave her a squeeze around the waist. "Now let's go get lunch, okay?"

"Okay," Alex said, doing her best to hold back the smile she was feeling, lest Justin ask what she was smiling about.


End file.
